The tears were fake leading up to Jake versus Jake.
The script, such as it was, called for yours truly to feign sadness during the most recent “Quirky Stats with Rob” video, which was posted on Riderville.com early Friday afternoon.
It was my idea — my fault, too, if you are among the unimpressed — to breathlessly recite a series of precedents in Saskatchewan Roughriders history, only to have kicker Brett Lauther (who is always up for a gag) intervene and pour cold water on the entire spiel.
Which is, of course, exactly what happened while our Social Lead, Tyler Daku, shot the interaction on his iPhone.
The entire production was prompted by the looming 18th all-name game in Roughriders history.
Leading up to Friday’s friendly duel between Jake Dolegala (Saskatchewan) and Jake Maier (Calgary Stampeders) at McMahon Stadium, there had been 17 previous Roughriders games in which both starting quarterbacks had the same first name.
The video began as I rattled off the first five games of that description — regularly scheduled contests between the Roughriders (quarterbacked by Jack Hartman) and Winnipeg Blue Bombers (Jack Jacobs). They started against one another on Sept. 4, Sept. 16, Sept. 23, Oct. 14 and Oct. 16 in 1950.
Saskatchewan and Winnipeg actually played six times that year, but the Oct. 21 regular-season finale featured quarterbacks Roy Wright (Roughriders) and Pete Petrow (Blue Bombers).
Then came Oct. 5, 1953, when the Roughriders (with Frank Filchock at quarterback) met the Stampeders (Frankie Albert).
Yes, we bent the rules (what rules?) to count Frank versus Frankie, but remember that Roughriders versus Rough Riders was once a thing.
So anything goes, really.
Anyway, here’s the rest of the list …
Oct. 3, 1959: Don Allard (Saskatchewan) vs. Don Getty (Edmonton). The very same Don Getty was the Premier of Alberta from 1985 to 1992. Alas, not a single Leader of the Opposition was named Don. Onwards …
July 17, 1979: Tom Clements (Saskatchewan) vs. Tom Wilkinson (Edmonton).
Aug. 9, 1981: Joe Barnes (Saskatchewan) vs. Joe Paopao (B.C. Lions).
July 1, 1984: Paopao (Saskatchewan) vs. Barnes (Toronto Argonauts).
Sept. 16, 1984: Paopao vs. Barnes (repeat).
Aug. 3, 1985: Paopao (Saskatchewan) vs. Barnes (Calgary).
July 26, 1987: Tom Burgess (Saskatchewan) vs. Tom Porras (Hamilton).
Aug. 22, 1987: Burgess (Saskatchewan) vs. Clements (Winnipeg). It was actually a three-Tom game, because Tom Muecke took over for Clements after Winnipeg assumed a healthy lead.
Sept. 6, 1987: Burgess (Saskatchewan) vs. Clements (repeat).
Oct. 21, 1988: Burgess (Saskatchewan) vs. Porras (Hamilton).
Aug. 15, 1991: Rick Worman (Saskatchewan) vs. Rickey Foggie (Toronto). See also: 1953, Frank vs. Frankie. We’re not into precision here, as you can ascertain by watching my shaky “acting” during the video.
Everything fell off the rails — intentionally, I hasten to reiterate — when I began to point out that there has never been a Ron-versus-Ron quarterbacking matchup, sort of.
You see, there was this game from Sept. 7, 1970 …
Ron Johnson started at quarterback for Winnipeg at Taylor Field. The Roughriders’ No. 1 pivot that season was Ron Lancaster, but … BUT! … he was not part of the starting lineup on the Monday of Labour Day weekend, 53 years ago. My list of 17 “name games” was arbitrarily restricted to starting quarterbacks.
With Lancaster nursing a sore arm and the Roughriders sporting a 6-1 slate, Head Coach Eagle Keys opted to start Don Weiss against a 1-5 Winnipeg team.
That plan was ashcanned at halftime, when Keys decided to turn to Lancaster with Winnipeg ahead 10-7.
When the quarterbacking change was made, Weiss had thrown nearly as many passes to the Blue Bombers (three) as he had to the Roughriders (four).
Lancaster proceeded to complete nine of 10 passes for 240 yards and two touchdowns in one half of football. Saskatchewan won, 30-7.
For Lauther, the cue was “Lancaster.”
Upon hearing that legendary surname, the Roughriders’ No. 12 was to casually walk by and, with a few well-chosen words, crash the segment and crush my spirits.
He succeeded, beautifully, as I pretended to be emotionally emulsified.
“But I worked so hard on this …,” I warbled while awaiting the playing of violins.
To the best of my knowledge, the Roughriders do not employ any violinists. Come to think of it, though, the Green and White once had under contract named players named Larry Harp (1964) and Joe Bugel (1965).
Neither of them played an instrumental role in a victory, but who cares? We have already stumbled across a possible premise for next week’s “Quirky Stats with Rob.”
